- Anti Joke

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

im not food

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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