A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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