Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops