roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops