what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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Sex education in Texas,

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops