What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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Dyslexia ruels!

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops