Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops