yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Micheal Curran...that is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I had a really great joke to tell you!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -29

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

thumb_up thumb_down -29

guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

dat shoe shine tho

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops