Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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dyslexic's Untie

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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