If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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Japan

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops