all these jokes are horrible now

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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