Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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