What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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And you honored it I see :P

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops