How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

im telling maguire

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

What do u call a gay dinosaur Tyran a sore arse

Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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