An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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