What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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one stop shop

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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