how do you boil oil? add b to oil

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

thumb_up thumb_down -19

HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops