I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Iif your reading this ur gay

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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