What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Beka has AIDS

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops