When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops