What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

thumb_up thumb_down -20

one stop shop

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is long black and smelly the welfare line

thumb_up thumb_down -20

this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

thumb_up thumb_down -20

SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops