A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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