How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What Did Charles Manson Do For a Klondike Bar? He Bought One

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Ily bae

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops