how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats small and sexually confused? YOu

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops