Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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