I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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taking out the trash... at night

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops