Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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