An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

I'm going to Re-write History... History

Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

Frontbut-

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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