What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops