A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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alert("Hello");

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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Your mums a potato

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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