- Anti Joke

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

A black person dies.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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