How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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