Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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willam dafoe

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops