What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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