Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops