whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar

Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

I'd like to make a withdraw

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

Why? Why not?

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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