A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

I had 99 problems Solved them all

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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