a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Skrillex.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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Immigration Laws

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops