Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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woman's rights

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops