How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops