Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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