Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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