what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops