How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

breasts

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

1

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...