How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Once upon of time there was 2 boys named Bucky and Thorn. They were best of friends and always came up with amusing adventures. So one day, during summer time before high school senior year, Bucky and Thorn went to go hiking on the mountain called Mt. Saint Lasik. It was the tallest mountain of the city. The city was called "The City of Dreams" because everyone had a dream that one day they will accomplish their goals. Well Bucky had a goal and his goal was to be the youngest to ever climb the mountain. However, Thorn was jealous because he as 11 toes. Since he can't hike they decided to go camping at Walala National Park. One day they saw a big huge bear named Pervus. Pervus told them that they were not allowed to be there. Thorn told Pervus to shut the hell up because he can't hike mountains. A girl came suddenly showed up. It was a girl named Sally. She was half black, white, Spanish, ad French, and she could sweet talk bears. Pervus said "Now it's time to boogey woogey woogey" and began dancing like a maniac. Police arrived. Officer Caleb Johnson was in the scene to investigate. "Where were you at the night of April 24th?" To which Bucky replied "To what do I owe pleasure of speaking?" Harry, his front door neighbor stole the cop car and drove off to New Guinea. God knows how or why Harry showed up. Coincidentally, Sally decided it was time to leave. Everyone left utterly confused. The End.

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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What did death say to life? Go die

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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