What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops