how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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Women's Professional _________

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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