What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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