What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops