What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

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CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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