A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

being sober in a bar fight

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops