What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

im gey

thumb_up thumb_down +5

17

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +3

some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops