Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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