What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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