you

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops